He slipped in the tub…
Simon went to sleep, finally, after tumbling round, and round searching for that one position in which he could breathe. He was suffering from a terrible, seasonal head cold…was feverish, sluggish and just damned tired of everything – wanting more than anything else, just to get some sleep.
After hours of this, he finally drifted off, and when some ridiculous phishing scam had the nerve to bot-text him at 4 am, he thought he’d just gotten off to sleep (barely remembered that he was dreaming some nice dream and “hoped” she was lovely).
He thought about answering the bots, even return-texting “STOP” but decided at the last minute that this would only alert them to a “live” number.
He threw the phone down in disgust, rolled over and drifted back off to a happy dream.
At 4:10 am, his alarm went off.
“TIME TO GO TO WORK !!!”.
Up and at ’em, baby.
He started a tub full of water.
He remembered, “take your meds”; he did.
He saw his tooth brush “hurry, hurry, hurry”…he brushed his teeth while the water ran. Maximize the use of time. Make every step count.
He finished his teeth and noticed an errant hair…grab the moustache scissors…clip, clip, clip (check elsewhere).
He turns to the tub (finally), steps across with one leg, looks down at the floor to see a tit-mouse staring at him…it look as though he was smiling.
Simon thought “how odd”.
He shifted his weight to the other leg (did not wish to get a bite from a tit-mouse). And then, it happened.
He thought about the science behind it…maybe some soap left on the bottom from the last time he cleaned?
Perhaps an air pocket formed on the bottom of his arch, creating an “air magic carpet”?
Some oil on the bottom of his foot? Maybe the tit-mouse had something to do with it.
At any rate, his foot slipped.
When it did, he fell solid on the rim of the tub…split tease!
Of course the tit-mouse now seemed to take smiling to an other-worldly level.
“It’s because I stepped over with my left leg, to face the mouse. Damned mouse.”.
Yeah.
Such is the way of life’s, little slips.
Later that morning, Simon put some cheese out in a humane trap.
It was cold that Winter’s morn, so he looked forward to turning the mouse loose in the wild
“Maybe he’ll have that smirk to keep him warm,” Simon thought.
A Medley of Malaise
The Fiction of MB Shepherd 